Thursday, December 10, 2009

Loser Lullaby

officially, i'm a loser. no further cynical remarks or sarcasm. she is the one. i could feel it.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

she could be her....ow a

hmmmmmmmmm

i don't know anything, i haven't talked to her in days. taking and advice from a friend, i should just leave her alone.

i want to stop thinking about her, but i couldn't. i wish i could, thats why i've been keeping myself busy for a while, going out and other stuff. but everything that i do, i can't stop thinking about her..... dear god... i just can't. now more than ever.

i think she already found someone to be with her, i'm praying that the guy is me, but what are the chances right? i've got a better chances of getting a car than being with her. i know what i am. hahaha

but with anything, i'm not giving up that easy. until i'm sure i'm over her... which means never ever. i can handle rejection, but the thing is, i haven't been rejected, cause i haven't confessed anything to her myself.

i might not be that good looking ..... but i will love her with all my heart, honestly...but i'm guessing it will never be. cause i've been searching for that special someone, and with the girls before, i never liked any of them. not one bit. but they like me, thats why i agreed, cause i didn't wanna make them feel rejected. i never want to be with a girl that i don't have feeling for, so i broke up with em, and this year i've been alone for a whole year, cause i thought i found the one, i waited for my time, the time came, but i never told her.

now, i think its over, but i'll never be over her. i promise myself that i wouldn't be with a girl that i don't have feelings for. and now i only want her.but she never talk to me again. and i'm just swallowing my pain, swallowing my pride....swallowing the love that i never had.

"i love you honestly, i want to love you honestly. but you didn't give me any chances. so now i'm left here, to wallow in grief. i wished they never told you, you were nice to me, now you're cold. i don't wanna know why. is it because you had the wrong idea of me? even if i do like you, i don't want to become your boyfriend, why would i? i'm not the perfect guy, for someone like you, it must be the perfect guy. i wished you read this blog. i only wish the best for you...only for the best. cause maybe thats what you always wanted. not me"

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

WHAT?

i wonder what did i do? i never did anything. i didn't say anything.

maybe thats why, its because i never did anything. it seems she's a bit colder to me. i'm gonna leave her alone for a few days...

and once again, what did i do? whats wrong with this world and me.

"WHAT DID I DO? " -asking the world what did i do

Friday, November 20, 2009

i'm just another emo boy.its just aother day

i know.its true, the more i deny it, the more true it is. emotional.... how stupid isn't it? i should have stuck to the rules when i set them.

guess the only thing i want to know is, the what ifs.... i wish i could read my life like a comic book, or just any normal book. always knowing the ending, but i never could, the only ending i could see is my death, and even thats not certain when.

but anyway, my legs still hurt after my accident yesterday. i went through with the test. and i guess, i did badly.. and afterwards went out. still enduring the pain. but i still went. guess somethings are just that easy to do, when youhave strong feeling for. thats it for the update.

"but i rather be working for a paycheck than waiting to win th lottery." Bright Eyes- The First Day Of My Life

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Not really

I'm no good when it comes to talking to the girls that i like... thats it.... who doesn't right?
but i'm a mass comm student, so why am i so shy in front of her, i only talked like a bit by bit...
must be those stupid butterflies that keep flying in my stomach. still i've got to keep my hopes up high. i'm hoping that i'll be ready in time when i tell her how much i like her.

i must gather enough courage, and strenght and hopes, and of course prayers in hopes that i can confess to her...declare my feelings for her. but for now, i'm just happy she's happy.....


"i'll do it someday... i'm not hoping to become anything, i just want you to know. what your decision is, i don't care. as long as i do have my love on you....." Realization of a hopeless romantic

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

no intention (unimportant stuff, don't read this.) its aprivatepost...

i've no intention...she must've know... i have a gut feeling. i don't know what should i do... never had i had a crush for a girl like this one.

maybe i should just tell her... but if i do tell her, wouldn't it be kinda awkward? me, the guy who she just met a few times... but you'll never know if you don't try..... so i'm never gonna try.. better stay in ignorance then facing the music.

and due to some stupid circumstances... theres also all that rumour around campus... (how i wish to only stay hidden.) hidden... i like being hidden, if it gets out, i don't ...i don't know what to do.

i've faced humiliation by my friends more time, as far as anyone knows.. i'm not being emo. i even knew she read this blog.... but as far as it does bother me... the code that i used to hide her name, it was so obvious.

and thats when everything gets tougher... i've thought about it.. maybe she is outof my league.. maybe that pie in ths sky dream that i've had is just meant to be pie in the sky dream. that star i've been trying to reach is gone. that wishing star i've been wishing on is stupid. and all i have left could only be just what i do have left. i mean, i know, that with all the things happening around my life, i've always have more things to think about. and life isn't worth it thinking about just one girl, but all i want is for that one girl, no THE GIRL, to be a part of it. so i can always have someone there, in the bad times... or the good times... or just any time..... and just cause inever really liked a girl this much before makes me think that...well lets just say that it makes me think.

will she always be the one? the one that i'll always spend my time with, from the first until the last. but thats all just a thought of a hopeless romantic...thinking too far ahead. when everythings happening now.

but i rather not tell her. if it means there will always be that awkward moment whenever i see her.i'd rather keepit to myself, than feel that what i've done is just for nothing. cause confessing you love someone that much, is like taking a HUGE step in my life. its not like that i have feelings for anyone else. i don't. i don't have any feelings for any girls that i meet. there are special ones... guess she'll never know.... guess i won't know... guess that all i could only do is just stand in the middle of the world and just look around. that happy ending that ive always dreamed about won't ever come true. but i'm not searching for it.

THIS POST IS SERIOUSLY STARTING TO SOUND ALL EMO.. SO I"M JUST GONNA STOP...

this blog has always been a haven for me. to express my thougths to the world. but i've neverbeen able to express my thought in real life. so i'm just gonna stop, stop doing this, start getting a real life, and just start thinking like anormal person would. so long i've always thought my life was like a movie, or TV show that i've ignored eveything and just keep doing what i do. but its not, that dream girl that i like, won't be mine, that job that i've wanted to have all the time won't be mine, i'll probly end up with just a crappy job. and friends, they aren't always what they seem. they always have something up, behind or front, with or without me. and i'm always the kind of friend, that usually in movies , be the unimportant ones. (the best friend of the hero, that becomes an unimportant part of the plot asthe story progresses.)

risky risky business, i'm only a risk. even if i do confess to her, where would it end up. even when i'm only her friend, i'll always want more, so maybe i shouldn't be involved with her. maybe. maybe maybe.(i hate using mabye)MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE....

"don't know why i'd fall for you, i only wanted you to always smile, so if i'm not the one that could make you smile, then... i guess i'm not the one... " Confession of a hopeless romantic...

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Been A while

It has been a while since i visited this blog, since i'm very busy with studies and facebook, and trying to make this girl like me,ow did i tell you i found a new crush?... she's so perfect...i guess i could say she'sthe girl that i've been looking for. but who knows, love isn't something i can control...

i'm making sure that nothing will disrupt me again. the reason why i stopped blogging before was because of the new semester starting and now its finally reaching is end. and i will try to update it as much as i can... so for now i'd just have to say one thing..."ILOVEYOU9101"

"You're no different" Ozzy Osbournes

Friday, August 21, 2009

RAMADHAN...

i'm seriously thrilled... because for once, i'm looking forward to the fasting month, mainly because i'm trying to lose weight...and seriously this time.

Ramdhan al-mubarak, the month in which muslims are required to fast (not eat) from dawn(Subuh) till dusk(maghrib).

to few people these are a nuisance to their daily life, but to most its not. and to me its like a blessing whereas i could not eat if i wanted to, without anyone else seducing me to eat. but no seriously...i'm trying here...trying to change, but noone seems to understand. well i'm not gonna whine and stuff because this is a blog, not a diary.and by change, i really do mean the real change, i'm gonna be a more better person alltogether. and hopefully i will finally end up with a girl that truly likes me, insyallah...


anyway, have a pleasant fasting month to all the muslim worldwide.

Monday, August 10, 2009

H1N1, Haze...the dreaded H

One by one, it appears that our country is plague by things that most of us don't even want. first the H1N1, then the haze, so we as the public must try to fend ourselves from these problem , cause if you don't, then its a problem not just for you, but the whole community. so in any case, we should all prevent it from happening.

P.S, if you are inflicted with a really powerful fever, don't hide it, cause if it gets worst, you'll end up dead, or paralyzed or something. the worst things that could happen is you'll be quarantined. then after a week, if you're better you'll be let go.

heres a safety precaution;
1. wear mask anywhere you go that has a lot of people there
2. wash your hands clean (scrub all teh details, and the nail and stuff)
3.cover yourself when you sneeze(which you should do even when when there's no pandemic, cause its rude to sneeze in front of people)
4.TRY to avoid crowded place, and if you have to go, wear a mask, or face cover(i.e scarf)
5.if you're friends are sick, avoid contact(unless the sickness is physical, i.e broken hands, legs, or plastic surgery)
6. if you're sick avoid contact to the outside world physically( i.e socializing via the internet, talking through the phone, sms, email and if you desperately want to see a person, 3G them or videocall them.)
7. haze is a problem, if you have an elderly/baby or someone who has asthma, keep them indoor(do take note that the swine flu mostly infects those with low antibody count, i.e elderly/baby/ sick person)
8. if somehow you THINK you have H1N1 , wear a mask, isolate yourself from anybody, and go straight to the hospital.

here are the examples of what to expect here in Kuching:


This is in Semariang, near Sukma...notice the picture are dark? not because of my photography skills but the haze


and heres the view on the bridge on the way to Buntal....

And for the safety precautions that's good;(since i don't have any other model, i used myself)


Good and safe


oh, and since i'm a motorcycle rider, i have to use a scarf to cover my face(the normal mask would be torn if i use it)



these are just precautions, so please if theres anything wrong with them tell me, cause its dangerous if we don't know. i've also been hearing rumours that the vaccine for H1N1 is being cultured, to supply the whole world. in any case take safety measures before they give the vaccine, even if you have you're own precautions......

TAKE CARE.....

Thursday, July 2, 2009

i love you, LEFT4 DEAD!!!!


here's a tribute to my favourite game for this year, aside from spore and red alert 3...

this game, is like a combination of two games, that is a combination of Counter-Strike and Resident Evil, or the hybrid of both, Counter-Evil....hmm...

any way... here's the games info, the world, like many zombie games and movies, is under an outbreak of infection.and the best thing is there is no cure for zombie-ism, but there is a cure for necrophilia...i have no idea why i said that. anyway, the zombie virus spread across the world, and everyone that isn't immune to it dies, or anyone that's been bitten becomes a zombie once they are dead, like many zombie related games and movies. so it is up to the 4 survivors of the game A.K.A 'us the player' to escape from the nightmare of these unfamiliar zombie outbreak. and by the way, there are also 4 'hero' zombie types.. Tank, Hunter, Boomer, and Smoker...these 4 are the dangerous kind of zombies, not because they are a further mutation of the virus, but when you are left behind, and one of them manages to catch you, then you are dead...sorry to say...so instead of only relying on yourself, you must also rely on the AI or your friends too.. did mention you can multiplayer with your 3 friends too?.. the game requires a lot of teamwork, if theres no team work.. then you'll die the second the hunter/boomer/smoker/tank catches you....

so here's a few picture i had of the game....be sure to play the game!! you must play the game .... its a must to play the game... the game must be played!!!!








here's how you will view the game....



team work is always important


Watch the back of your teammate and they will watch yours coz if you don't...This is how you'll end up... being dragged by a smoker a cross a hall, while he bites and eats you..and so will the other zombies, if there are hordes of them...

or worst, you'll end up dead...goodbye...on the lighter side, you get to continue on playing if the other survivors found you trapped inside a closet somewhere, or a toilet...



and like i said if you are left behind chances are you could get attacked by this guy... the Tank, a big chunk of running muscle...ready to charge and hit you, and throw heavy stuff your way....notice the ground shaking everytime he's near....
and here's what happens when he manages to incapacitate you... what a downer....and if he hits you a few time while you're down, then you'll end up...

Here again... dead.. sorry to say...

And as an ending word, if you are playing this then you're probably enjoying it... if you haven't played it yet, then you should play it, cause if you don't you are missing out on a lot!!!! and if you played it but hated it, then you're probably a no good footdragging zombie... and i'm coming to get you!!!!hahahahaah

Saturday, June 27, 2009

You are not alone

Michael Jackson: 1958-2009

May He rest In Peace.....

A video tribute.....from You tube.....We shall meet when the time comes.....




A Singer may have died but a legend will live forever..... We Love You Michael....

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Can't wait


This is what i'll say this whole week.....
Got Good News and Bad News

Good News: A new Drum Kit is bought by T-Man
Bad News: UITM semester is starting next week

Good News: This saturday is the Come And Join Me Party
Bad News: Tickets not here yet...

Good News: Finals over and the semester just ended!!
Bad News: got no ideas for this break, not one shit....

Good News: Just got my full drivers licence
Bad News: I got No car

Good News: Tranformers 2 is out
Bad News: got no shit for cash.....lame

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Exams are finally here...Final will be over,and i will be free to play Left4Dead ..

My finals are this week and next week. thankfully this week is the easier subject, giving me enough time to study for the exams next week which include, Introduction to Advertising, Introduction to Print, and Writing for Electronic Media. I'm really studying my heads off..... seriously....in fact i shoud be studying now, but i'm not... because i'm too lazy.... so enough said, i'll be back and blogging full time again after the next week is over....

Saturday, May 23, 2009

i'm a mess,... and busy...

nothings seems more important than what i'm about to do next week, on the 29th of May, in LIMKOKWING borneo, no its not my final, and no its not the day my assignments are due. its the musical that me and louis have been working on since the last 2 weeks.

yes a musical, and its going to be very interesting, very, very interesting. so in any case if anyone who reads my blog are from kuching or is visiting kuching on that date please c0me and see our performace for that day. and i promise you it will be really entertaining.

and i have like 5 more assignments to go, and Gawai is also just around the corner, and the final is after gawai. and hopefully with all the commotion this year, it won't end just like that, i mean i'm on a roll and the momentum is high. nothing could get in my way, unless its the thing that i hate most.

and more picture soon to come. and the reason i haven't updated my blog in such a long time is because i'm also devoted to another blog. the other blog that i am involved as a writer is called talkinghornbills. basically its like any other blog in the world, but it's written by me, and it covers almost all the events that is happening and also i get to write about things that i think are interesting, basically its like my blog only with the event covering thing happening.

heres the website's address (i didn't put it to links so you guys have to do it the old fashioned way copy and paste)

www.talkinghornbills.blogspot.com

"the dark is always around us, and there is no light other than one"
Me, 2009

Sunday, April 26, 2009

It's dark, are you scared?

Light, when people think of this, they would always think of happiness good, heaven, and all that sentimental stuff, while the opposite of the word, Dark, whne people think of this, its always about sadness or death or emo or evil. how would people react if i say that most people are afraid of the darkness.

here's a question:

It is in the middle of the night, you are alone at home. suddenly there is a huge thunderstorm and then the lights just gave out because of some busted fusebox.what would you do?

A. Grab a torchlight and replace the fusebox with a new one

B. Leave it and replace the thing the next day




most of you would probably have chosen the option A. well that just goes to show how afraid people are. but then again when i say this, people will say they are concerned of burglers or robbers or rapist or serial killer. well those kind of thought mostly emerge during a blackout or when you are facing a dark place, example a dark road. when there is a blackout happening at my house, i would usually think of ZOMBIES, which would be the coolest thing to happen. but then again it could also be my biggest fear, i mean suddenly waking up to a world filled with zombies...

anyway what i was talking about, darkness is a thing that everyone fear at some point or another.when you hear someone that is afraid of the dark, that's not a kid aged 12 and below, they would probably think that their crazy, like that dude form sleepy hollow. but face it, we are afraid of the dark, even me (i'm admiting it).

Darkness can play tricks with your mind, especially when its pitch black darkness, the kind when you couldn't even see a hint if light, you wave your hand in front of you eyes but you couldn't see it. then some strange sounds starts to come from around you. you think its nothing but the sound just keep coming closer, and closer. until it is just beside you. then it turns out that it was just your friend trying to give you a torchlight.and no this incident didn't have anything to do with me...

but there is a few good things about being in a dark place, especially when you're with friends and you know about the whole trick that the thing can do to your head. you can scare them hahahahahah....(i do not encourage people to scare old people and/or people who are suffering from heart attacks because it can cause a shock to them and kill them, believe me okay...)

this whole post is actually about something, finally!!

"then again its me myself and i"
Butterfinger-GirlFriday

Thursday, April 23, 2009

holding things in my arm

there is nothing more valuable than what you are holding in your arm. i never did get this term.

so instead here's another post about absolutely something.

something kept appearing in my dreams lately, and itsw been keeping me up all night. and that something is actually a nightmare. i keep having nightmares about freddy krueger, and the creepy thing is, he talked with me in my dreams asking me to kill the people he's killing. and so i did kill them, of course it was a matter of time before i started to kill the people that i eventually woke up. i did felt like i missed the chance to actually try and kill something in my dreams, but i woke up. the next night i dream of killing zombies. its actually kind of fun killing zombies but it was all in my dream, of course i did kill a lot of zombies while playing resident evil, but dreams are much more real, because you are as if in the dreams.

and much to my horror, after that i dreamt of going on a date with this girl that i used to have a crush on, and she actually likes me, but the thing was, she was some kind of vampire. and thoughout my dreams she tried to kill me and suck my p...blood! and the creepy thing is when i woke up i had all these scratch marks and my neck was sore as if something had twisted it. i never took notice of things that happen but eventually it lead to how i'm feeling for the day. and i felt like crap. i don't know why, i have no reason at all to feel like crap.

what the hell is this post about? i don't know.. so all i got left to say is look both ways before crossing the road, and never think twice when you're about to do something....

Monday, April 6, 2009

a shield to guard us all, a shield to shade us

when someone promptly asked me what weapon i would choose if ever given a choice, i would most likely choose a large shield. some may say that its the most lamest weapon choice ever made. but to me its not. a shield is the most efficient of all weapon. because captain america uses it.

i used to ask myself why did captain america use a shield? why not use a heavily armed machinegun or an auto burst shotgun? my brain started to function as it would normally would when i want to piece up something broken or solving something.

why a shield? most people would say that a great offense is a sturdy defense. but then again, a great offense is mostly a great offense. but where would my brain go without thinking more about it. a shield symbolises a passive nature. the reason why captain america uses a shield is because he is symbol of passiveness. he is a soldier, and a soldier protects, eventhough he doesn't have any natural superpower, though he does have the super-soldier serum inside his body, which makes him like super in some way. but still his shield is his trademark.

a shield to a spartan warrior is like his right hand and another weapon beside spear and sword. the shield protects the fellow spartan, and protects themselves from enemy attacks.


i would mostly use a shield myself because another character that i know also uses a shield to fight, that is Goofy from Kingdom Hearts. yea, and from the description on the first kingdom hearts, when you choose the weapon at the start of the game. it says that a shield is used to protect your friends. and that is also why i would mostly use a shield more than any other weapon.

so the reason are as follows:
1. a shield is a symbol of passive-aggressive
2. a great offense is a great defense.
3. with a shield, you can protect your friends from danger
4. captain america uses a shield
4. Leonidas used a shield
5. Jason from Rise Of The Argonauts uses a shield as part of his weapon
6. Goofy uses it in Kingdom Hearts
7. i chose it when i first played kingdom hearts
8. if you throw a shield it always boomerangs back to you if its round and curved and thrown into right angle
9. if its made from vibranium it can absorb high pressured attacks
10. if your father before you and your grandfather before you used it, and its blessed by Apollo, then chances are, its enchanted and can shield you from damages even made by minotaurs or chimera.
11. if you're a disney character, and your shield is named Save The King, then it is you most powerful weapon, next to the keyblade that Sora won from defeating Sephiroth.

my conclusion is if you're in a battle choose a shield, but chances are in this day and age, they don't have any more shield, so find a good body armor.

i'm still here

so recently i came across to some jokes. it goes like this:
what do you call someone who is cold and a jerk. the answer?
AN ICEHOLE...

i didn't get the joke but hopefully someone out there gets it.

and some good news, i have my own band. my band is called, The March-Mellows. its because we are very mellow. and march, its a cross between a marching band and the month of March.

and unfortunately one of my band members wasn't here this week, so we didn't go for any practice, instead i went out with my friend who just recently came back from matriks, Nazwan. yeah he's back, cracking up more jokes and something he does thats very funny that none of my other friend can never do, and with long hair he looks like shah rukh khan. no seriously, he even admitted it...hahaha

but on a lighter note, there was a PIKOM PC FAIR last saturday. so the four of us went there, me, T-man, Nazwan and tman's brother. anyway the place was crowded, but good news this time is that the fair was a lot bigger than last year and the attraction is a lot more, and the girls promoting the stuff are getting more eye catching. yes its true, not really but you get my point. i did found this cool new CPU that looks like the transformer robots, but brownish orange, and cost rm 5,xxx. i don't really know the price but it cost at least 5 thousand ringgit. and as always at a pc fair,the carpark was always a problem. we parked at parkson and had to take a long walk to permata carpark(yes the pc fair is at a carpark). how ironic is that the carpark did not have enough parking space. i don't get the irony but some do.

so i didn't buy anything when i first went, in fact i only went once there, but i did told my brother to buy a mouse for me. he was going there to buy a new High Definition monitor(yes we just bought one, but my laptop does have HD too) that my father wanted, and a new video card. with the newly bought video card, i could play rise of the argonauts, finally.......

without the video card, all i could see was chunks and blocks and slowly moving character killing something t red and yellow. now i could see jason(the argonauts) killing a chimera clearly. thanks to the video card, which is nvidia.

and today is monday. which discreetly means that its a bad day for everyone who has to work, have school and/or class, but to me its a wonderful day. because i'm having my midterm break this week. and just this week, i have no other plan. but this friday is good friday, not girl friday, meaning that most of my friend have a day off meaning i can do something, maybe call the band together and jam, or something. and the goodnews about nazwan coming home is that he can be our new camera man. thats right a new camera man. our band started off with a camera man who turned into our manager( Eee-In) then a camera woman (aishah) then another camera woman(T-Man's girlfriend) then another camera man (Opiey) and now maybe its Nazwan...

and since i'm on the subject of explaing about my band, i really want to explain how it all started:

before i was playing in my own band, i was a drummer who used to jam with my cousin (Gay).most fontunately the type of music that i play is different than his preference due to his nature of being such a poser, and he changes song like he changes clothes. so i started bringing T-man along as a spectator then becoming a camera man, then he started to sing radiohead's creep, so i wondered what if we made our own band, of course i always wanted to form a band with him ever since we were still in highschool, but back then it was a Hip-Hop band.

so anyway, i just let the thought play in my head for some time. as time went on, T-Man's cousin came along to kuching, they are from the Peninsular. anyway we started hanging out, and then we went jamming for 2 hours. and in that time, we brought along Gay, we played all sort of songs with me of course on drums and Gay on guitar. T-man was still watching and sang a few songs. but Gay was always there ruining the song. so afterwards we learned that T-Man's cousin have a band back home. and we were like super jealous, but not really. anyway after that we decided to form our own band. without including douchey Gay in our band.

while the process of thinking about forming our own band, i kept playing drum for Gay untill this one fateful day, the week when T-Man was having his midterm break. so we started off by wanting to go out for a day out doing something stupid in town, and we brought along Eee-In. so while thinking of wanting to do something, T-Man suggested that we go jamming, and i said okay, but who will play the guitar, and he told me to play because i can, and then the question was who plays the drum. i asked him to play the drum but he say he couldn't, then who would sing. so then out of nowhere he suggested that we bring along a friend from his college along who knows how to play the drums.

anyway we picked him up and went jamming. as it was fate, he turned out to be a great drummer, seriously. his name is LuLu, BTW he's a guy.anyway a day after, we wanted to go jamming again, and LuLu suggested wanting to bring out his uncle, who we first thought, bring an old guy jamming? so we went along, and we found out later he wasn;t old. he's a great bassist and he could also play other instruments well too... his name is Zack. and thats how we all met... and then of course we started jamming together, and jamming until we all agreed to form our own band. and that is history told from the eye of the guitarist of March-Mellows.



this is just some picture of us that i cropped together...

anyway, The March-Mellows will rise soon enough....

Monday, March 23, 2009

i'm feeling this

anyone ever felt so mellow that its like everything is blurry and things just seem to go slow then fast and then slow again...well that never happened to me before.... this is just a short post... sorry no idea...

Friday, March 20, 2009

not now not after....

this is something that i've done for several days.... because apparently i love to take photo, and because my dad just bought me a new DSLR Nikkon D60. the thing is cool to use and really good for one's creative mind...

here are some of the picture that i've taken:
This is taken at Heritage Cafe



this is also taken at Heritage Cafe..



Anyone ever been to Kampung Goebilt? This is where they sell fresh fish....
and this is....well apparently this is me, some took this picture while i was sleeping....who did that?

that is all, since i have no further idea on what to write this week.

"I can't think of younger days, when living my life was everything a man could want to do, i could never see tomorrow, but i was never told about the sorrow"
Bee Gees - How Can You Mend A Broken Heart

Friday, March 13, 2009

101st post.....

ok simply to say, i posted an empty post with just a title called 101st post, it was stupid, since the first post i've ever posted was about the same, i only posted the title..

which brings me to a what i'm wanting to post, i've been saving money to buy a new guitar, its
a Santa Cruz.

wish i had a picture of it. and i like the guitar as much as i like my crush, but if it was a choice i would choose the guitar, or the girl whichever sounds nicer.
anyway i'm still google-ing the picture...if i found some picture i'd be sure to post it....

"Reading my blog is just a boring thing to do, anyway, this was just to kill time, and i still love my crush.....i feel like that song by that guy called david archuletta..."

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Dear someone....

for the past days, i've been listening to a compilation of the greatest hits from the FAB FOUR, or also known as the Beatles.. and because of some of the song, i've become JIWANG, EMO, Or Sentimental, and because i have suddenly aquired this feeling, i've become a victim to this cruel thing known as a crush.... it has been some time since i last have a crush on someone.... its a cruel feeling, that makes you feel like you just want her to know how you feel, and then maybe expect she would feel the same as you do... but it never is as one would think it would end.

i love her so, but she would never love me, a cruel thing, i would like to think, she knows i like her, but she just let me go....

this is how Emo i feel right now...
i've developed Feelings... something i thought would not happen to me considering my heartless condition.

i thought she would notice how i look at her, the way one would not look at any other person, the way someone that wants to see what her hearts says, the way that would want to fall in love with her , the way our eyes met, and how i fell for her.....

it really does feel shitty to know that you have a crush. a crush is what a schoolboy aged 7 would feel when he saw a girl he liked. it happened to me several times, but as i reached highschool, it all just became meaningless. so i dropped the whole cute boy act and became somewhat of a badass....not fully at first, but as a reached another period of time in highschool, when i was 15, freaky things happened, i lost my sense of morality, my sense of justice, my sense to do anything right, so i went with it, because it made me feel great. but somehow things happen for a reason, no girl would ever love someone who doesn't have a heart. i feel so heartless, and now i've grown a heart, and i have a crush on someone... i just hope she feels the same way or not, whichever it is, i hope this crush will move on quickly...

it hurts me so, that you don't understand how i feel, it hurts me just to know that i'm not him, it hurts me just to know, you are just my crush, and my love will somehow live on....

TQ,

i love you my crush if you are reading this.....

Monday, March 9, 2009

still remember the night...


tuesday, another day to feel so, tires/bored/fun/happy/sad/whatever!...it isn't like my days have gotten good so far. i'm still hoping that things would turn out good and by hoping things turn out good, i feel it wont turn out good... i dont know why i'm talking about something turning good. my heart still feels empty, and need someone to fill it out, preferably a girl, because i'm not gay...

made this boring picture last year... when felt bored one boring day, and that boreness made my boring day more boring than any usual boring day that my boring life would boring have, and because boring is like part of my boring life and that boring boring boring boring...... you get what i mean right?

Saturday, March 7, 2009

too bad its not real....

i have no idea on what to write...but to be honest, non of my post has something pre-written beforehand.... but in any case i will write about something that kinda took my interest, but i'm not sure what that is.... so I'll write about nothing, again....and the thing is i haven't posted a blog in like more than 2 days mainly because my laptop is, not broken, but on the same line,the charger overheated and kinda died out. and so i'm force to use the PC downstairs, which i hate because i can't watch southpark, or family guy or undergrades or something..... so now i'm like bored and i have to wrap up the post quickly because my brother is giving me like only ten minutes to use the PC...

so yesterday i went to Sematan with the SOCIAL SCIENTIST, which means mass comm students....and it was kinda fun. had some swim, played truth and something, watched a turtle on the beach(not literally) , then baywatch?, and treehuggers... it was awesome... and i hope that i can do it again.....and because of yesterday's trips, i am tired as hell or heaven or some place...

"Aku berdoa, kau ada bersama, Kan Ku kira bintang, harapkan kau pulang"
-Gadis Mimpiku-

Sunday, March 1, 2009

thinking back, and i'm really not looking for anger,

to have a new semester is like having a new school year start. anyway, last week was the first week of my third semester in LIMKOKWING Borneo, and in a mention to some of my friend, i'm now in my second year here...meaning one more year to go, and one PLKN to go through this year... which means my life is starting to get fun this year.

2009 started lame and sick and boring and kinda crappy. no one remembering my birthday, no presents, floods, stuck in a floods, had to be in a flood, and tried to swim in said flood, but with no avail, the water is murky filled with shards of broken glasses, and a copious amount of animals that lives in water and or comes out during floods a.e: snakes, scorpions, rats, pirhanas, crocodile, and of course water lizard.

slowly going on with 2009, it turned out better, my friends learned to play guitar, met a new drummer, met his uncle who is also our bassist, and then the most miracolous thing happened, i actually started a band. hmm, quite interesting. and so.. i also met a few girls in the process, like so and so.and in the event of starting the band, i also managed to write and compose two songs. ...pretty much its starting to get better.third semester starts, and i made an oath to myself to not be like last semester, that is my normal routine last time go to class, go home, sleep.. next day, same thing only buy KFC. and next day same thing also, but with chicken rice,and the next day as such.... so in not trying to repeat the boring stuff that i did, i try to get involved with more of the college activities, and hanging out with friends after class, rather than stay at home, and try to organize and or volunteer, with some kind of public event or campaign, like my first semester i voluntered with the ONE LIFE thing at the spring. apparently nobody seems to notice but, i did went there...some people did saw me and i was like all covering up my face... i started babling about useless shit again, and so i'm stopping...

okay next thing this year, the course decided to start a magazine, college-zine.. so i was suppose to design the magazine cover, and i was like why me? and nobody answered...i accepted wholeheartedly, and i also wanted to write some article for the magazine... and so i was stuck with thinking, what am i suppose to write about? music?(not so into pop music) lifestyle?(as if i have a life) food?(steroetypical fat guy typing here, so no) sport?(write about what, hot girls in sports) or just random things....maybe write about the culture of blogging, or facebook... maybe i could start a social observation? .....screw everything, i just write about freaking life or something....its much better than nothing...

"It's her hair and her eyes today That just simply take me away And the feeling that I'm falling further in love makes me shiver but in a good way..(you get it right?)"

Stephen Speaks-Out Of My League

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

when the Matahari terbenam, all the nightlife starts...

started class yesterday, and the need to drink and chainsmokes starts again. not really, but it really does help with the building up stress. started long ago, and stops when i'm in the hospital. anyway, i'm still waiting for tomorrow, when the band comes together, and we have a new vocalist tomorrow, a girl. one of azzra's dream in a band is for a girl to be in his band, and now my band has one. and if you're reading this azzra(i doubt he even reads the words thats in the search bar or even the stop signs) in you face!

stop everything alert the press, i just finished learning one the song that have been hard for me to play with, an Arctic Monkeys songs the song is called "When The Sun Goes Down" also known in their new album "SCUMMY" yeah what a scummy man, just give him half a chance i bet he'll rob you if you can....

yeah some part of the song, and hence the title of this post. can't wait for tomorrow, and signing out..

"Come and Talk to me on my computer screen, the best years of our lives aren't as easy as they seem, to get the girl, and make the grade, its all a show, its all a game, and i would lose it if i play, but anyway...." Good Charlotte- The Click

Monday, February 23, 2009

look what i've got...

its almost here...something is almost here, every year, last year it was mine, this year is somebody elses'

yes it is almost here, the SPM/STPM result is almsot in. the reason why i've brought this up is because of the airtime it's gonna get on TV, every station has the same thing on, but from different kid and different schools. but there's always gonna be one student thats gonna get the highest record, like breaking 21 A's or 30 or 200 A's, and such.. but there's is always one thing that i always expect them to do, like telling the viewers that the reason they got that kind of record is because they want to prove something, and its not because they want to be on TV. but lets face it, who doesn't want to be on TV? not me(lying) mostly everybody...but that just doesn't pulls my strings at all.. i'm okay with SPMers and STPMers getting high score, but the only thing i want to see on TV is the answer to this Question that is asked to student that gets many A's or medium number of A's

Q1: How do you do it? what's your secret in getting this many A's?

A1: well i don't want to brag but, i did absolutely nothing. i never went to any of my class at school, i didn't study at all at home, i go clubbing during the weekend, okay i go during the weekdays too. and drinking and smoking keeps me awake the whole time during the exams..

Q2: Who do you thanked for your success?

A2: i wanted to thanked my teachers and my parents, but sadly that meant i would have to lie. seriously though, i only have myself to thank, my teachers said i would fail miserably, and my parents are either busy with work or fighting about their divorce. that about sums it up for my thanks. oh and yeah, i would mostly like to thank my friends that helped me forget all the trouble at home and school by bringing me out and such. and of course my girlfriend.

Q3: Any words to this years SPM/STPM facers?

A3: well i would mostly say study hard and smart, but it didn't work for me so all i need to say is study whenever, wherever you want. or you could do with a last minute preperation thing, like moments before the exam, you do your revisions, so you'll remember everything, seriously.

that would be something to watch, wouldn't it? maybe i could make a movie about it, you know like slumdog millionaire..

Monday, February 16, 2009

quotes, quotes and quotes...some of my favourites

quotes.. these are my favourite words, the best thing about them is that its very philosophical, and you're always right, because its not thought of by you.. most of my quotes come from songs, like Fall out boy, or the strokes, or elefante, or bloc party, or eric clapton, or dudes like bob marley..anyway, i haven't used quotes from movies or famous classical heroes, or old minds(like aristotle and socrates)so here are my collections of quotes that i really, really really like...well most of them are on love, and most of them are from wikiquote, and from this book of quotations that i bought a few years back...

"And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught."

"Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. "

Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

"The Encyclopedia Galactica, in its chapter on Love states that it is far too complicated to define. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of love: Avoid, if you are able to."

Douglas Adams in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"All our young lifes we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us."

Kevin Arnold (Daniel Stern) narrating in The Wonder Years (1988)

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

Aristotle

"The stage is more beholding to love, than the life of man. For as to the stage, love is ever matter of comedies, and now and then of tragedies; but in life it doth much mischief; sometimes like a siren, sometimes like a fury"

Francis bacon

"True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another."

John Beckwith ( Owen Wilson) in Wedding Crashers

"You are at the begining of your life, perhaps you will have many loves, but if you are fortunate, you will have only one love."

Jolee Bindo, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

"All I have is my love of love and love is not loving. "

David bowie

"Our love is like the wind you can't see it but you can feel it! "

Landon Carter, A Walk to Remember

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. There are three things that last faith, hope and love, and love is the greatest of these."

Landon Carter in A Walk to Remember

"Love is watching someone die."

Death Cab For Cutie

"Love is most nearly itself when here and now cease to matter. "

T.S Eliot


"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. "

Matt Groening, Creator of the Simpsons

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will finally know peace."

Jimi Hendrix

"There is scarcely anything else in the world but that: to love one another. "

Victor Hugo in Les Misérables

"You are what you love, not what loves you"

Donald Kaufman (Nicholas Cage) in Adaptation

"Everyone can be great because anyone can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't even have to make your subject and verb agree to serve...You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love"

Martin Luther King, Jr

"We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it. "

"Everything is clearer when you're in love."

"Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear"

John Lennon

"That which is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil."

Friedrich Nietzsche

""How grateful I was then to be part of the mystery, to love and to be loved. Let's just hope that is enough."

"Love's an excuse to get hurt. And to hurt."

Conor Oberst

"In uncertainty I am certain that underneath their topmost layers of frailty men want to be good and want to be loved. Indeed most of their vices are attempted short cuts to love. When a man comes to die, no matter what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror. "

John Steinbeck in East of Eden

"True love is the only heart disease that is best left to run on. "

Mark Twain

'Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing.'
'But it's true-'
'Still doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It is what you do to the people you love; that's what matters. That's the only thing that counts.'

Stephen (Tom Wilkinson), in The Last Kiss (2006)

"Man is in love and loves what vanishes,
What more is there to say? "

William Butler YEats


Hope you enjoy reading thism, or suffering through it, whichever ones suits...
Leave a comment or something cynical and/or sarcastic...please i need sarcasm in my life... lately my sarcastic feelings have gone...

Saturday, February 14, 2009

nothing in this world...

i just discovered darkness in my soul... and i'm liking it... just beware, i'm much more evil than i was before...

nice guys finish last....

THIS A WORK OF FICTION. ANYHTING WRITTEN BELOW DOESN'T HAVE ANY RELATION TO THOSE AHO ARE ALIVE, DEAD, DYING, OR ABOUT TO BE BORN. ANY SIMILARITIES ARE PURE COINCIDENCE, OR IT MIGHT BE TRUE. YOU HAVE TO THINK HARD IF IT HAD HAPPENED TO YOU BEFORE, JUST THINKING IF IT IS DE-JAVU. BUT THEN AGAIN IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER THEM, OR IT NEVER HAPPENED, THEN, NO WOORIES RIGHT MATE? ANYWAY HERE'S THE STORY..


DIARY OF SID:

i hate being a nice guy... especially when you're around girls. cause some girls never go for the nice guys, they always go for those jackazz types...some of this are true in some situation, unfortunately for me its true. since i have to be a gentleman whenever i bring a girl out, i thought that was what a girl would want.. a nice dude who open the car doors for them, and pays for their meal, and walk with them all the way even if she's a slow walker, and stop conversations with friends that you meet while you were walking just for their sake.

unfortunately, she doesn't pay attention to any of these. when you open the doors for them, they slam the door shut in front of your face, and when you pay for their meals, they buy the most expensive things, and when you try to walk the same pace as her, she says she needs some space, and when you stop talking to your friends that you meet, she talks for hours on the phone, leaving you to wait at a table at the foodcourt while you eat ice-cream, and the other one you bought for her melts away. she doesn't pay attention to any of these...

then a week later you found out she broke up with you because she wants to start seeing somebody else. that just breaks your heart, but you're a nice guy, so you let her go, thinking if its love she'll see it, and love you back. but then you start seeing her with someone else while you were out with your friends, and then another guy the next day, and another guy at night. you have to start to think, are they friends or are they clients?

so a few days later, you start a new resolution,(not swearing off girls, and start liking guys, and start being gay) start being an asshole, and be a punk, a rebel. chicks dig that. start swearing at everything, stop with that faggy voice and start talking like a a dipshit. fix the stupid hair-do, dont make your hair look like those pencil pushing dorks working at some office with medium paid jobs. use some clay and make your hair look cool, messy but cool...

FINISH.


thats it for my post, i have no idea why i'm writing like this, but it kinda feels like something that has been bothering me. not that its about me or anything. but anyway,read? do people even read my blog?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

just a few more days

there is just a few days left.. so all thats left to do is just, accept it..

finished what i started, start something else to finish...

save enough to buy things, buy things till its enough

eat till i drop, drop thing that i eat,

and nothing will change... unless i get a serious girl, to change my life... hmm(sigh) where is that perfect girl that i have been looking for...wheres 'just the girl i'm looking for' where's my sunshine after the rain'

hope i'll find her soon.... as i people would say a tomorrow is a new day.. but to me, the next hour is for new things.... and i'm almost finished with Warriors Orochi...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

RoXane Aka Rozana

This is the third video of our jam ....



its a slow to fast version... leave comment...as if..

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Jamming vids...

hey ho lets go....this is the jaming vids that i've been talking about. i'm the guitarist, and sometimes i'm the bassist...



Here they are.....




yes this song is called i wanna hold your hand....by the beatles



and this song is known as Hatiku luka lagi....by Blackdog Bone... or before it was in malay... Lets just kiss and said goodbye...or something like that...

there was a lot more vids but uploading them to youtube really takes a long time... so i just uploaded 2.....

"Oh PLease say to me, you let me be your man, and please say to me,you'll let me hold your hand"

Saturday, January 24, 2009

walk in the sun..

this morning, i woke up early. i heard strange sound of coming from outside of my room, and it came from my fish pond downstairs. it turns out that the water pump is leaking water out of the pond. the fish were swimming in toilet water(meaning there is so little water that they can barely swim) .. anyway after finishing up and fixing the damn thing, i took a walk around the neighbourhood. it was kinda peaceful there and all, without any car and stuff... so i got inspired(not constipated)

Morning walks,
peaceful talks,
war all around us,
cause by such a ruckus,
yet our lives have not change,
at this day and age,
we still work,
play and walk,
school bell rings,
no one in class,
its a saturday,
not a monday,
fortunate for us,
living in this bus,
of safety and regulations,
while the other side face wars,

killed or be killed,
shoot or die with a bullet,
live by the gun,
die under the sun,
the black nights,
are filled with sparks,

all we could do is watch,
as this reign of terror goes on,
in front of our tv screen,
then change the channel,
to watch some music videos...

Friday, January 23, 2009

to live and live by,,,

hearing something new isn't always good. and for some reason, i dont think its good. i never commented on the Israel-Palestine wars... but i'm not... so many have written about it so i;ll skip it..





anyway, today is saturday, early morning...really early.





i never use LOL(laugh out loud) or as i might see it, Life of Lie....i guess





i really don't have anything to write so i'm just gonna babble about something...





do you notice that in every Petronas holiday greeting's commercial, someone would always die, except for that one year..





and does anyone notice that in every hour there is a minute in which we do not think about anything...





i really have nothing to write about, so i'll leave a picture


really it is. i'll leave a blank.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

finding the cure to growing older

ow man, this really sucks... i'm really not into these sick things, but i have to. its like one of those things that you don't like doing, and you're forced to do it....

its nothing to most people but, to me its very important, its why i have been avoiding it all this time... that thing is, shaving my sideburns....what you thought it was something weird? it wasn't

anyway, about finding the cure to growing older, i'm older, and a bit wiser, and a bit more cunning than before, so that makes me a bit like i was three years ago.

any way, theres this new thing going on with me, i'm starting my own band, and its gonna be like one of those weird cool bands(??what the??) what i mean is like, Weezer(?? hardly close) bowling for soup(??doesn't resemble) and my band is probably gonna suck ass... really sucks...... and my troubles are really beginning, because designing you're own jamming room is harder than i ever thought, especially involving the labour part and spending money....(full of crap)

but anyway, its gonna turn out great if i ever finish it....sadly i dont think its gonna happen...

"Is this more than you bargained for yet,Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet, Wishing tobe the friction in your jeans, isn't it messed up, how i'm just dying to be here? I'mjust a notch in your bedpost but your just a line in a song"
Fall Out Boy-Sugar we're Going Down

Friday, January 16, 2009

Sepi, the event untold and event upholded

after i saw the film for the first time( yeah i just watch the film this year) ... i was speechless, the film was beatifully done. the camera angle, the script, the actors, the theme... it was just, wow. i really couldn't believe it when i saw the film... its a masterpiece beautifully written, and beautifully put together. if anyone thinks otherwise, then dont watch it.

to that extend that i finally say that the film is a must watch.... to all those who haven't watched it yet, watch it....

Mawar Liar

... i met her at this shopping mall.. really bad girl, but she's sweet. she's like a wild rose, pretty yet very thorny... umm, not exactly a good example..okay... She's like a rose, pretty but not easy to be plucked, because of the thorns...yes... dont think less of my metaphores... i made them according to what i think is suitable...

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

for some apparent reason

theres no particular reason. just posting this because i drank too much coffee, i'm caffein crazy now, too much caffein...remember dont drink too much caffein.

gud night ..

Sunday, January 11, 2009

why ow why?

is there nothing worse than a flood? yes there is.. all the while when i'm not celebrating my birthday (which i am not doing, because i don't celebrate any birthday) there is war going on in Palestine. and for some reason when there is someone who is not thankful it will always go to that war.... like per say, "i dont want this toy" "damnit play with that toy, people in palestine cant even play with that kind of toy." that is what usually happen when people aren't greatful. but the war or starvation in some other place shouldn't be like a thing to persuade you to be thankful. you must always be thankful, not because you aren't in some war or you're not starving in the dessert, but you have something to be thankful about..

so i decided to say to my cousin who's house is flooded right now and he has no place to sleep in, and almost all of his books and furniture in his house is ruined,that the war is much more worse than what he is going through... so what flood is much better compared to war, people dying, but flood only makes you wet....

and if you see people in the local malaysian TV they would only blame the government....always the government's fault.. luckily the people in Kuching, or Sarawak in general don't complain that much...dont think that just because i'm from sarawak..

and there are certain new things this year that kinda don't make sense to some people. one of the things that people really misunderstand is the wearing of seatbelt in the back seat. what people dont understand is that wearing seatbelt in the back seat is for safety reason. okay i know its nuisance, since it never is a law in Malaysia. my father said that he's been driving for 45 years, and he never use the seatbelt in the back and he's still alive. but surely he's old... so it doesn't count. people nowwadays are devil driver, or speed demon. which literally means they drive fast. but my dad still said that if you dont drive fast its optional... but seriously, even when you dont drive fast, if somehow some guy hit your car from the front or the back, you'll probably die.... and if you really don't believe me, think i'm joking around... you should watch this youtube video on seatbelts safety... even when one of your passenger dont wear a safety belt, you have more chances of dying than when all are wearing them... here are the videos:

Disclaimer: these are not my video, its from youtube, and if the owner do not want me to show these on my blogs anymore please notify me by placing a comment and i will gladly take it off from my blogs... thank you..











but just in case these videos don't show up here's the URL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6Qhmdk4VNs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SEy_FCJlpk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwM6ib0zeNg


i'm a hypocrite i admit it, i ask people to wear seatbelt, when i don't do it... but its my choice, i feel that i want to live dangerously...but no seriously i do wear them, that was just a joke... i really wear it... if you dont believe me, ask anyone that knows me... i'm a smart driver, not an asshole driver...

" I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you, and i know i can't take it back, i love how you kiss, i love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round, and i just wanted to say I'm Sorry"
Sorry-BuckCherry

Friday, January 9, 2009

18 finally?

i turned 18 officially 12 o'clock last night. it was really lame. everybody elses 18th burthday would be at some huge party, but all i did was eat a zinger, and watch I, Robot. ... my life is sad, and it kinda sucks now. so anybody wanna get me more down do it now..... my life is just a waste of space and time.. nobody even knows that i'm alive. i am being so emo right now.. please don't let me live through another day.

anyways... goodbye....ow and happy birthday to myself!! dude this is so lame!!!!!!!!

lovelovelove, kisskisskiss

lips are bleeding now.... but its her first time... so its okay....

Thursday, January 8, 2009

the day my life sucked...

nobody even remembered my birthday.... this sucks... so i guess i'll just hang out somewhere this saturday by myself or with pyzul and basri... or whoever but this year is gonna suck really hard... this is so ridicolously lame, and so crappy

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

reminds me of candy...

hey dudes and dudets, i did not know why i just used those words, but in any case i would like to point out that today is the 6th of january. which means its 4 more days until my birthday. unfortunately nobody seems to remember my birthday, which i think is bollocks(i do not know the meaning of this words, if anyone does tell me) or as i might call it in my native tounge "sialan celaka". and yes i do use these words to describe something crappy about me, or something crazy happening, or to some random dude that pissed me off while i'm driving.

yes, each and every year nobody ever remember my birthday, not my family, not my friends, and not those random friends on the internet. i really hate my birthday. maybe its because nobody remembers them, and that gets me so pissed off. maybe after i turned 18 this year, i might get pissed more often because nobody remembers that i'm 18. i always get the bad stuff and somehow i always get scolded for no apparent reason.

and as for something thats on my mind is that, i never had a girlfriend to spent my new year with, and because of that even during my birthday i dont have a girlfriend.. i mean come on, how sad is that? it really does sound sad, and it really does sound like i should go to an island or the island that the show LOST is filmed. or maybe i should stick with the possible like spend more days in my room playing video games, isolate myself from the outside world by never watching the news, never coming out of the room, and turning off my handphone, and to make it even worse i should only used flourescent lighting to make sure my eyes is really sensitive to the sunrays.

lastly, i want to play SNOOKER!!! i really miss that game. i was hoping to play it this weekend but nobody is coming back this week so its kind of a boar not bore, boar as in PIG... i'm starting to hate the beginning of this year, and if i hate the beginning i'll really hate the whole year. and i was wondering when is my life gonna be as good as it was in highschool, i miss hoghschool, the rules, the teachers, the friends, but not the uniform, i hated wearing uniform, but somehow i always look good wearing them....kidding...

i just done some video montage for highschool pictures of my class, and recalling back everything i saw, i really missed them... i really do..my friends, my old desk, my books, my drawing, my stupid ppencil, our class pranks, hating other kids, dissing other kids, and 'menyelak' (making fun) of some dude either from class or some other class but its usually me.....but i missed them...

"there is nothing new to me, i've seen them all, but you are out of this world, thats why i fell for you, and till my death bed, i always remember you..."