i think i'm falling for you

i've rarely thought about this......a girl has been in my head for more than one week......i dn't know why but she has somehow hypnotized me..how?.. i don't know but the more i try to forget her the more i would like to be with her....but she got her reason to not want to mbe with me....i've couldn't force her to like me..but i could try slowly to get her to like me.....somehow i don't think it would work....i've bumped in front of her at school many times but i could never say one single words to her....probably because my friends always said about her first...and i don't intend to say anything thats in my head, i always think before i say anything.....i'm really glad she's in the same school as me....that way i could see her everyday before SPm ends...she's really smart, cute and very2 interesting......i've never found anybody like her before, even in DD......she's not like everyone, maybe thats why i like her...she's weird...and thats why i really like her,i won't use the word "love" because i don't know how to define love ....its always different to everyone....like to some:
-love means you are ready to sacrifice for them
-love means ready to take chance
-love means have something common with someone
-love means that you always think of them
-love means you'll stay together through anything
-love is our feeling
-lust
mostly people that i know,aka my friends result love as lust, but i don't totaly agree with them...probably becuse i think there is no such thing as love....love is just a word....even if they are emotion, how can we express it? how can we be certain that everything we do is because of love, or because we care for someone, or just because we like them too much.....i have no say in it....love is up to all of us....we define the meaning of love ourselves......to me love is every meaning that you can come up with.......but first you must have some connection to them....i really-really love you "A".....i've always think of you...i'm ready to sacrifice anything for you...i'm ready to take the chances.....we do have something in common...and i hope we can stay together if we were to be together....

"ILOVEYOU".......is just three words...i don't intend on you to say it to me....i just want us to try,at least, to be something.....but what would you say afterwards... can we still be friends after that.........or will we go ahead.....
i hope you'll live happily and enjoy yourlife no matter what or who you like.......

Sheila On 7-Dan

dan... dan bila esok, datang kembali, seperti sedia kala dimna kau bisa bercanda dan, perlahan kau pun lupakan aku, mimpi burukmu, dimana tlah ku tancapkan duri tajam, kau pun mengis , menangis sedih, maafkan aku, dan... bukan maksudku, bukan inginku, melukai mu sadarkah kau disipun ku terluka,melupakan mu, menafikan mu, maafkan aku, lupakan lah saja diriku,bila itu bisa membuatmu, kembali berpijar seperti dulukala, caci maki saja diriku bila itu bisa membuatmu, kembali berpijar seperti dulukala........lupakan lah aku..........

i've been waiting

this morning..... after saho, finished my korean drama marathon.... all night i watched the drama Hello Miss and i finally finished it this morning.....it was a really great drama, especially in the plot of the series..... i enjoyed the acting of lee dae hae and lee ji hoon..... both of them really made the drama seemed almost real.. well finished another drama and another two to go....i intend to finish each before raya and before SPM......haiya.... not long before SPM... a few weeks to go.... i haven't really study or anything.. but with high hopes i might study hard with a little encouragement from everyone.... "i Will Succeed in my SPM" and so i will... i'm starting to study and i'm improving a lot in my exam and i hope that with each starting day my brain will let up more energy for my studies, and plus i promised someone hat i will study hard and excel or at least pass all my paper.......its just that in all the commotion i haven't really had any chances to let off some steam, although the drama really helped a little my stress level is really at a peak point and i can go craz anytime before the real thing.... just hope that i will somehow find a miracle in life and inspiration to work harder....plus i didn't think anyone would care anymore if i succeed or not... i will always be a dissapointment to my family and my friends.... and just no matter how hard i try nothing will ever be enough.........wished rudy was here to help me....why did he have to go so far......posa will end likely the next week so in a ny case i wanted to wish everyone a HAppy Raya....this year will meybe be the most boring raya i will star to celebrate.. as i had said no rudy no fun, we always spent raya together and when he's not here there won't be anyone to do stuff with, no DD's house, no fireworks, no fun, no money, and espesially no companion this year... i wouldn't want to spend my raya with thing....he's way to boring and plus he's weird and i don't really like him.......just hope this raya will be fun and i will remembered to not to neglect my studies too............such a crazy year, what i wished i would want to skip it and yet i don't want some of it to be skipped.......well so in short i want to end this post with my hopes and dreams high, and it will end today

Hey there You there

boring as ever, life couldn't any better.... then again it is betterjust finish the jamming session with 'thing'.....we played when i come around,swing swing, vindicated and bersama semula.....and of course we also played i don't love you, and get your hand of my girl... but we didn't sing the two latter songs......nyway, this evening will break fast at SADDAD....gotta go at four to jam with fifi and arshad....and maybe challange aloy ngan rapiza main token.........but theres always one guy not with us....that is AUNZIA.....he never goes out with us ever.........maybe its becos he wants to study, or just he doesn't want to hang out with us...maybe...lets just hope not........okey so now i'm getting ready.....this is our first dinner out with cikgu apis....jus hope he'll come.....well all in all hope all our plan will work out smoothly.......then me outtieeeee

bad day

today was the first day of school...........AT FIRST everything seemed well.......... i pass my addmath.... probably the best one i ever done........... and i aced my BM paper..................... afterwards things started to go wrong......... math paper was okay too......... but then things started to get ugly............ ESt is no more a play subject ........it started to feel hard.......... before our class never got below 20... now we got 10...... and the teachers even thought i cheated just because three of us has the same marks.... and the same answers...... now that is not right since we didn't even sit close.... and i didn't even got out of the hall........... this day really sucks..........then when i was riding i felt nervous for no reason.......... i really felt like i want to die.... but then i just went home locked myself in my room........... turnewd the music as loud as i can and sang to give out the stress i was producing.......... finally i got rid of all the stress......... ahh so happy now.......... while writing this i really wish she'd be online............ so i can talk to her...........well me outie......POST OVER

Post Reunion..........

i'm waiting for my couz to wake up.........we have some plan today..........its gonna be along day........... rudy will be here at eigth and opie is alredy here.......... naim is here too but i wouldn't know what he'll be..................... so in the meanime i'll just talk about the long vacation i had this week.............. by far this holiday i didn't do anything................... i went to a seminar hosted by sri sarjana at MBKS............. it was quite boring but i did get a few knowledge........... met anua and kashfi, he used to go to our school but somehow he got out, now isn't that lucky................ well i did talk to "HER" though................... so that did made up for all the times i wasted................ and i finally express my feeling for her.........it was better than i thought.................................... and there was this party that i wanna go to but it was only for those above age............. the party was for my cousin who got into a university, he's from london, and he got into nottingham university or something close to that , i don't know................ there was also this concert tonight at the tennis court at the satok suspension bridge............... i wanted to go but.......... my mom and brother stopped me .............. maybe its for the best............ they alwasy say that moms knows best............. what about brothers.................................. overall this has all been very great now i'm just waiting for Rudy o come so our plan may proceed...................huhuuahuahu