WHAT?

i wonder what did i do? i never did anything. i didn't say anything.

maybe thats why, its because i never did anything. it seems she's a bit colder to me. i'm gonna leave her alone for a few days...

and once again, what did i do? whats wrong with this world and me.

"WHAT DID I DO? " -asking the world what did i do

i'm just another emo boy.its just aother day

i know.its true, the more i deny it, the more true it is. emotional.... how stupid isn't it? i should have stuck to the rules when i set them.

guess the only thing i want to know is, the what ifs.... i wish i could read my life like a comic book, or just any normal book. always knowing the ending, but i never could, the only ending i could see is my death, and even thats not certain when.

but anyway, my legs still hurt after my accident yesterday. i went through with the test. and i guess, i did badly.. and afterwards went out. still enduring the pain. but i still went. guess somethings are just that easy to do, when youhave strong feeling for. thats it for the update.

"but i rather be working for a paycheck than waiting to win th lottery." Bright Eyes- The First Day Of My Life

Not really

I'm no good when it comes to talking to the girls that i like... thats it.... who doesn't right?
but i'm a mass comm student, so why am i so shy in front of her, i only talked like a bit by bit...
must be those stupid butterflies that keep flying in my stomach. still i've got to keep my hopes up high. i'm hoping that i'll be ready in time when i tell her how much i like her.

i must gather enough courage, and strenght and hopes, and of course prayers in hopes that i can confess to her...declare my feelings for her. but for now, i'm just happy she's happy.....


"i'll do it someday... i'm not hoping to become anything, i just want you to know. what your decision is, i don't care. as long as i do have my love on you....." Realization of a hopeless romantic

no intention (unimportant stuff, don't read this.) its aprivatepost...

i've no intention...she must've know... i have a gut feeling. i don't know what should i do... never had i had a crush for a girl like this one.

maybe i should just tell her... but if i do tell her, wouldn't it be kinda awkward? me, the guy who she just met a few times... but you'll never know if you don't try..... so i'm never gonna try.. better stay in ignorance then facing the music.

and due to some stupid circumstances... theres also all that rumour around campus... (how i wish to only stay hidden.) hidden... i like being hidden, if it gets out, i don't ...i don't know what to do.

i've faced humiliation by my friends more time, as far as anyone knows.. i'm not being emo. i even knew she read this blog.... but as far as it does bother me... the code that i used to hide her name, it was so obvious.

and thats when everything gets tougher... i've thought about it.. maybe she is outof my league.. maybe that pie in ths sky dream that i've had is just meant to be pie in the sky dream. that star i've been trying to reach is gone. that wishing star i've been wishing on is stupid. and all i have left could only be just what i do have left. i mean, i know, that with all the things happening around my life, i've always have more things to think about. and life isn't worth it thinking about just one girl, but all i want is for that one girl, no THE GIRL, to be a part of it. so i can always have someone there, in the bad times... or the good times... or just any time..... and just cause inever really liked a girl this much before makes me think that...well lets just say that it makes me think.

will she always be the one? the one that i'll always spend my time with, from the first until the last. but thats all just a thought of a hopeless romantic...thinking too far ahead. when everythings happening now.

but i rather not tell her. if it means there will always be that awkward moment whenever i see her.i'd rather keepit to myself, than feel that what i've done is just for nothing. cause confessing you love someone that much, is like taking a HUGE step in my life. its not like that i have feelings for anyone else. i don't. i don't have any feelings for any girls that i meet. there are special ones... guess she'll never know.... guess i won't know... guess that all i could only do is just stand in the middle of the world and just look around. that happy ending that ive always dreamed about won't ever come true. but i'm not searching for it.

THIS POST IS SERIOUSLY STARTING TO SOUND ALL EMO.. SO I"M JUST GONNA STOP...

this blog has always been a haven for me. to express my thougths to the world. but i've neverbeen able to express my thought in real life. so i'm just gonna stop, stop doing this, start getting a real life, and just start thinking like anormal person would. so long i've always thought my life was like a movie, or TV show that i've ignored eveything and just keep doing what i do. but its not, that dream girl that i like, won't be mine, that job that i've wanted to have all the time won't be mine, i'll probly end up with just a crappy job. and friends, they aren't always what they seem. they always have something up, behind or front, with or without me. and i'm always the kind of friend, that usually in movies , be the unimportant ones. (the best friend of the hero, that becomes an unimportant part of the plot asthe story progresses.)

risky risky business, i'm only a risk. even if i do confess to her, where would it end up. even when i'm only her friend, i'll always want more, so maybe i shouldn't be involved with her. maybe. maybe maybe.(i hate using mabye)MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE....

"don't know why i'd fall for you, i only wanted you to always smile, so if i'm not the one that could make you smile, then... i guess i'm not the one... " Confession of a hopeless romantic...

Been A while

It has been a while since i visited this blog, since i'm very busy with studies and facebook, and trying to make this girl like me,ow did i tell you i found a new crush?... she's so perfect...i guess i could say she'sthe girl that i've been looking for. but who knows, love isn't something i can control...

i'm making sure that nothing will disrupt me again. the reason why i stopped blogging before was because of the new semester starting and now its finally reaching is end. and i will try to update it as much as i can... so for now i'd just have to say one thing..."ILOVEYOU9101"

"You're no different" Ozzy Osbournes