it was announced a few minutes ago, that the fasting month was to start tomorrow, which has just worsen my week. first worst thing, i can't go out yesterday at night for some strange reason. i dont get to see the girl that i was hoping to like. and my dad was admitted to the hospital because of hypertension. this was a very crappy week for me. plus i haven't even finished my assignment which was due next week, tomorrow. so in the morning i must finished it. i must.
the weekends really sucked. the weather keeps turning bad, i kept getting scolded by my mother for no apparent reason,. and for once on my whole seventeen years living, i didn't get to celebrate the independence day.which i kinda admit was lame of me to miss it. each and every year i would somehow find a way to celebrate it. like last year, i didn't quite remember it, but i went out with someone and saw the parade and the fireworks, and the hot girls. and the year before that, i slept at the midnight celebration, but i was in one of the parade. and the year before that was with rudy. so this year i dont feel the heat anymore. nothing feels right about this whole year. i turned seventeen, but i didn't feel like it, i met some hot girls earlier this year and still not feeling it, and Raya is about a month away, and i dont feel like celebrating Raya, most probabl because most of my friends are not here, even my family is not here. if i were to live a long life, i would probably labeled this year as the most boring year of my life. plus i'm still treated like a kid. i cant go anywhere. when my brother finished highschool, my mother bought him a car, and he went out like crazy. and me, i dont get a car, i dont get to go out, and i still get yelled at for no apparent reason.i still cant go out because each and every week, there will always be some kind of excuses. and i am afraid of having a girlfriend relationship with any girl.
if i go meet a shrink, i would most probably be classified as having issues with relationship. i dont, its just that i havent met the right girl.
the right girl for me:
1-kind and caring(obvious answer)
2-funny and can understand my kind of jokes
3-can understand it when i talk games with her
4-likes the music that i like
5-not so bitchy
6-not that choosy
7-have a really cute laugh and smile
8-likes long distant car rides and motorcycle rides
9-isn't too trendy
10-enjoy watching movies and criticizing and making fun of lame movies
this kind of traits isn't that hard to find, but they dont come in the whole package, they come in little package, like number 1 and number 3. or 1,2,3,5,6,9. or even 1,2,3,4,5.. and such... i'm sure hoping to find the girl if i search hard and long and really carefully. but with the way things are going with me, i dont even know if its even gonna come true.
i'm really hoping to find the girl, and i just hope i find her soon, since i'm starting to lose my will to live. now my only goal is to become the next steven spielberg, or ahmad idham, or aziz m osman. i'm searching for some other aspiration to pursue, and i hope i can find the girl, or if there are any girl reading this post out there that thinks that they fill the right girl criteria, well leave a comment and i'll let you know.
"first comes heavy breathing, staring at the ceiling, what will happen next i dont wanna know..."
New Found Glory-I Dont Wanna Know
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