she could be her....ow a

hmmmmmmmmm

i don't know anything, i haven't talked to her in days. taking and advice from a friend, i should just leave her alone.

i want to stop thinking about her, but i couldn't. i wish i could, thats why i've been keeping myself busy for a while, going out and other stuff. but everything that i do, i can't stop thinking about her..... dear god... i just can't. now more than ever.

i think she already found someone to be with her, i'm praying that the guy is me, but what are the chances right? i've got a better chances of getting a car than being with her. i know what i am. hahaha

but with anything, i'm not giving up that easy. until i'm sure i'm over her... which means never ever. i can handle rejection, but the thing is, i haven't been rejected, cause i haven't confessed anything to her myself.

i might not be that good looking ..... but i will love her with all my heart, honestly...but i'm guessing it will never be. cause i've been searching for that special someone, and with the girls before, i never liked any of them. not one bit. but they like me, thats why i agreed, cause i didn't wanna make them feel rejected. i never want to be with a girl that i don't have feeling for, so i broke up with em, and this year i've been alone for a whole year, cause i thought i found the one, i waited for my time, the time came, but i never told her.

now, i think its over, but i'll never be over her. i promise myself that i wouldn't be with a girl that i don't have feelings for. and now i only want her.but she never talk to me again. and i'm just swallowing my pain, swallowing my pride....swallowing the love that i never had.

"i love you honestly, i want to love you honestly. but you didn't give me any chances. so now i'm left here, to wallow in grief. i wished they never told you, you were nice to me, now you're cold. i don't wanna know why. is it because you had the wrong idea of me? even if i do like you, i don't want to become your boyfriend, why would i? i'm not the perfect guy, for someone like you, it must be the perfect guy. i wished you read this blog. i only wish the best for you...only for the best. cause maybe thats what you always wanted. not me"